There are a few key items that would make clutter particularly dangerous: if paramedics would be unable to reach you in an emergency, if the clutter prevents proper housekeeping, if you are unable to locate the things you need when you need them… If these situations do not pertain to yours situation then you would be in line telling these caring folks to mind their own business. More often than not, they are telling you, what they consider gentle way, that you need better housekeeping. One of the aforementioned ladies actually had a dead water bug hanging from a cobweb that she simply did not see. If you have someone that cares for you telling you to conquer your clutter, step outside of your comfort zone and take an objective look around…what is it they really see? Clutter does indeed make for a difficult cleaning task but if you are up to challenge then more power to you! In the end, you should be happy in your space. If your happy space is too much for visitors to bear then it is simply a decision of what is more important, your space or your relationship with those people.
All of us (myself included), have things that we hold on to for reasons that seem sound enough in our heads when actually they are simply excuses to put off making a concrete decision. Those limitless reasons can be agonizing. It is only when we are real with ourselves that the true reason comes into focus. For the sake of this discussion, let's consider a once-favorite, indispensable pair of shoes. I had a pair in college. They were black leather loafers with a silver buckle. They were a little preppy, a little funky, and absolutely perfect! In a shoe relationship, they were a BFF. Well, as all BFF shoes do, they wore out. I no longer wore them yet kept them in my closet as a type of security blanket. I would put them on every so often before quickly taking them off knowing they passed their prime; yet in my closet they remained. I thought, "How long should I keep a pair of shoes that were once treasured and no longer useful?" For me, it was about two years. In all honesty, that is about 18 months too long.
When I say the "60 Second Rule", I'm not talking about how long a piece of food can stay on the ground before it becomes unfit to eat; I'm talking about how long it takes to put something away. If you have an item, let's say a shirt you elected not to wear, out of place and it can be put away in 60 seconds or less, do it right then. By putting off the inevitable, you are adding time and stress to the situation. If the procrastination issue is significant, it could take a great deal of time to tackle a lot of things that could have easily been done along the way. For example, take your garage, if you use an extension cord out the garage and set it on a shelf instead of putting in the cord box, that small inaction is the first step to requiring an entire day to put the garage back together. The small actions, requiring less than 60 seconds, are hardly noticed at the time but can add up very quickly. Extreme situations of inaction result in squalor, which is defined as sordid dirtiness.
In my line of work I meet so many wonderful people. Whether through working, speaking, teaching, or casual contact in my daily life; almost all of them have a burning question to ask me about getting organized. Two questions turn up far more often than any others. One being whether or not I have ever worked with a real hoarder (the answer is yes) and the second being how to get your family on board when trying to get better organized. This answer is not quite so simple. One very important thing to keep in mind is that regardless of how many family members you may have in your home with you, it is their home too. Although much research has been conducted on the overall benefits of living in an organized environment, some people just aren't interested. Should you happen to be married to one of these, hope is not lost but it will be a challenge, for sure. When asked this question, I always tell people to never underestimate the power of compromise. If you share a space with someone and as difficult as it may be to imagine, there are things you do that bothers them as well. These things are your bargaining tools. Quid pro quo…I will put away your laundry if you will make the bed before you leave the house. I won't throw away your magazines if you stack them neatly in a designated place.
I recently read a fascinating article in Real Simple magazine regarding Women & Time. Probably the most fascinating aspect is a phenomenon called Gatekeeping. In short, Gatekeeping is when we have avenues in which we could delegate tasks but choose not to do so as then we would relinquish control. Control is a big word and one few take lightly. When it comes to our homes, we (speaking to women here) are the master of our domain. I can't tell you how many husbands or sons will purchase gift certificates for me to help their wives or mothers get more organized, only to never hear from them. If the woman takes the initiative, the husbands are typically onboard 100% until we discuss their "man cave". My point is, we want to be in control of our space, yet we also want more time to do things we enjoy. So how do we achieve that? I would recommend seriously considering your priorities. When it comes to your home, is a clean toilet more important to you than pressed curtains? Is putting away dishes properly more important than a few extra minutes of play time when bathing small children? Make a list of all of your tasks then go back through them and prioritize them with 1 being the most important and the last number (coinciding with the number of items on the list) being least important to you.
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